EXTRRRAAAAA

today was another peaceful day made all the more pleasant by the near-brisk temperatures and cloudless blue sky. these kind of days are so convincing in their persuasive attempts to get you outside that you feel like scum if you hole up in your apartment all day, no matter how comfortable you are.

a few days ago, i undertook a new mission: one to cook and produce some halfway decent food to eat. i decided it was time to stop living on tomatoes, cirene (feta-like cheese), yoghurt and granola. enough. so, i baked myself some banana bread and am pleased to report that it turned out EXTTRRRAAA. EXTRRRRRAAA is a slang word in the language- one that is hysterical when you hear it because you just can't believe a they're saying EXTRRAAA, with drawn out AAAAA and a cheesy smile. from what i have gathered so far, the meaning is similiar- it could potentially mean super, wonderful, or great but often the context in which it is used is a bit funny.

i have the cutest couple that lives across the street from my apartment, in a bloc almost level to mine. their kitchen is on their balcony-turned-indoor-cooking station and they spend much time in that converted space looking out the window it offers to the world. bulgarians in my town hang out their windows or sit in front of their blocs (without the k) to pass the time. and sometimes with a beer, or two, or more. for the first weeks i was here, i would engage in a friendly waving routine every time i spotted these folks in their kitchen.

one day not too long ago, the guy decided to jolt me out of my waving routine. he leaned out his window. and then proceeded to yell at me excitedly across the street. yelling at each other and enjoying the sound of our voices while they echo down the corridor of blocs on my street has become our new routine. no more waving business. my favorite part about it, though, is that sometimes, when i am yelling across the street at him, he says 'EXTRRRAA' when i ask how he is doing on that particularly fine day. he must have grandkids. people his age just don't say EXTRRRAA like the younger hooligans around here. however, it is usually the only word i can understand of our conversations together- i am fond of them already. and they say the people here have an indirect style of communication...

anyway, tangents aside, the banana bread, with a sprinkle of cinnamon and chocolate chunks, turned out EXTRRRAAAA. i decided it would be unwise to eat the entire thing myself, so i took half of it to the baba from whom i purchased the bananas for this EXTRRRRAA banana bread. she was delighted and surprised, even. i was surprised that she was surprised because the people here are masters at giving. apparently only in certain social settings, though, and my gift was a bit out of the ordinary. she was not quite sure what it was, so we made a little room for ourselves to devour EXXXTRRRAAAA super banana bread in front of her shop. and, the verdict was... that she liked it. she couldn't believe that 4 bananas had gone into the production of this bread... maybe because bread here is pretty homogenous across the board. with the exception of my friend st, who has magically found whole wheat bread in his town, i have seen various variations of white bread, white bread and more white bread in my town. bread with banana just isn't on the spectrum here. i delighted in her delight. and i was given some free veggies to take away from the mini celebration.

currently, i have no official language tutor. life just hasn't given me the right opportunity to set up a formal tutor-student relationship and i am embracing it. but, i thought today i may just spend an hour every afternoon hanging out with her, this "баба" who speaks slowly, has warm eyes and lots to talk about. a plan to start small and work my way up to tutoring seems suitable for the time being. and, because there are no people wandering the town around 2 or 3 in the afternoon, it is a perfect opportunity to help her pass the time. she even has a nice patch of shade from a big beautiful tree to congregate under. furthermore, i am partial to the afternoons, as i always have been, because i love the omnipresent sense that the world is exhaling in preparation for evening.

slowly i work to embrace the ambiguity of my new life here. the uncertainties have more familiar faces now and it is becoming pleasant to greet them each day. i am able to keep occupied with my efforts to expel the mating flies from within my apartment, with cooking meals i cannot ever possibly eat entirely by myself, and with learning to just enjoy free time without feeling guilty.

making peace of uncertainty is never something i have excelled at. this is how i know i have ended up right where i am supposed to be. alias &tarsier produced a beautiful song titled 'rising sun' that i revert to in moments of strong uncertainty. it is a hauntingly ethereal song, but i find the words to be more relevant to my life now than ever before....

"when all you know has changed,
the promise of a rising sun...
is all that remains"

there have been days when uncertainty has been so pervasive i find myself clinging to anything constant, stable, certain. often, i find stability in music. english music. or in sunrises (which i rarely can wake up in time to see). i find, too, that the promise of a beautiful sunset is uplifting in its own right. here is the one from this evening. the universe has blessed me with such a spectacular view!