apparently 'me' isn't translating

warning: this is one of my most spastic postings and it lacks continuity in the worst way. i will crank out better writing soon, i assure you.

who knew that coming here would bring me closer to enrique iglesias? turns out, enrique is all the rage here and if you haven't heard of his new album "insomniac" or his hit ring my bells, i'd highly recommend pulling yourself into the enrique fan circle. pronto.

why is this relevant you wonder?

well, readers, today in two of my classes, we translated enrique's big hit ring my bells ...AND, bonus, it was one of the most productive days i have had here to date. no kidding. i now know the lyrics to this song in english and in the language here. integrated much? YES!

other things of note...

oh yes. while sitting at coffee for a looooonnng time with colleagues today, i learned that 'ghetto' is a word in the language here. my colleagues have been using it to describe our school, in fact, and i never once noticed it.

imagine hearing "gay-TO" used in a sentence you already don't understand much of.

would you make the connection? ya, neither did i.

at any rate, it is now clear to me just how low our school is on the totem pole of schools in this country (not that that was unclear before).

i am trying my hardest to want to sit through coffee when this topic is discussed with a frequency that makes my head spin. there is an unmistakable gap between my world and that of the colleagues i sit with on these occasions and i have not found materials to bridge it.


i am beginning to realize that in my obsessive plotting, pitying, writing, coping, dealing with this experience i have unknowingly alienated myself from a lot of the people i see on a daily basis. this was never my intention.

so i figure, i will suck it up and sit there whilst being careful to not give the impression that i am right on board with all of the negative stewing and chattering. these folks think i am 'too closed' and cold, though i know i am not a cold person. it's just that... well,i haven't yet found the balance between being myself here and managing the overwhelming mass of issues that are writhing in my town and in my mind and soul, too.

what an exquisite challenge.

i gave up on my 7th graders today and taught to only 4 students the entire period. the rest of the class digressed into pandemonium as students yanked chairs across the wood floors, threw sunflower seeds everywhere, screamed and yelled out the windows, launched water bottles at each other and ran amok. i decided my energy was best spent teaching these wonderful 4 students instead of disciplining the entire class period (as it usually happens). those 4 students could not have been more grateful. they were upbeat, focused and SO excited to learn, to finish the extra worksheets i had prepared for them, to work on telling time, to come to the board and write with my neat pens...ah. success amidst disaster.

oh, and another person from my group left. sigh.

i must carefully monitor my words here, but i will add another poem because these poems say nothing if not everything i am dying to say.

this book, 'the gift' while on the surface appears religious in scope, says so very much about experiences in life that resonate within me. you'll have to pardon my excessive quoting of these brilliant words...

on my town:

It Has Not Rained Light

It has not rained light for many days
The wells in most eyes look
Drought-stricken

Thus friends are not easy to find
In this barren
Place

Where most everyone has become ill
From guarding
Nothing.

On this primal caravan
Careers and cities can appear real in this
Intense
Desert heat,

But I say to my close ones,

"Don't get lost in them,
It has not rained light there for days.

Look, most everyone is diseased
From 'making love' to
Nothing."