there are still days when i forget to put on great music, sip tea, do that which comforts me and enjoy the process of just being present with me. not many, but some.
i evolve even now and change with the passing days. i am still not my own best friend. i am not always kind to myself. however, i sat with myself every single day these (nearly) two years and if nothing else, i have gotten to know me well. good or bad, i was there for me when the ups and downs were blowing through the days and months.
today, i realize that many people never get the chance to sit alone long enough to get to know themselves inside and out.
and there's this sneaking suspicion creeping up on me that someday...far away from bulgaria... and the cold of this dead winter...
i am really going to miss me and all the time i have been afforded to sit with me and get to know me while here.
which is a slightly terrifying admission given that i'm more than ready to come home.
it's shocking that it took me this long to understand this was really about me all along, learning to just be with me, learning to simply enjoy my company. two years alone in a foreign place to learn how to sit and be present with me.
no easy task, that.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
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