spring

nothing could be ugly on a day as beautiful as today in bulgaria.

i spent the day riding a train back from a conference earlier this week. when i passed andrea's old village en route home, i gazed upon the green green hills rolling into the mountains punctuated by small caps of snow in awe and felt nothing but silent joy. the wounded artery of a road leading from her train station to the town center was not so desolate or miserable looking today. the blue skies and sunshine erased the awful feeling of having walked that road in the snow and cold just a few months ago.

life felt so light and joyful today.

i am grateful i am leaving this place- this often cold and grey and miserable place- in the spring when it's hard to feel anything but cheer and gratitude.

i am grateful i gave myself this time to stay, to struggle and reap the benefits of having worked so hard not to succumb to the cold.

i am almost done. and i will remember the beauty, the sunshine, the lush green rolling hills more than any of the darkness.

i couldn't say that until today.